Why are kids so hard to feed?

By Jessica Braun, Registered Dietitian (Warman Physiotherapy & Wellness)

If you’re a parent to young children, you may relate to the title of this blog. Why does mealtime so often become a fight, and why do kids refuse to eat what’s offered? Or how did you end up cooking the same three suppers and packing the same lunch every day?

The answer is often quite simple. Most kids are born with a few basic eating instincts:

1. the physiological drive to eat
2. a generally positive attitude towards eating
3. the ability to know how much they need
4. the capacity to grow along their own growth curve.

Feeding can become a challenge when one or more of these instincts is interrupted. This interruption may look like parents or caregivers missing hunger/fullness cues and pressuring kids to eat more or less than they want. Children also tend to go through a period of natural picky eating between about 15 months and four years, where eating behaviours change. This can be frustrating—but it’s also an important opportunity to honour your child’s eating instincts.

The division of responsibility (your best tool)

Honouring your child’s eating instincts starts with the division of responsibility: both the child and the adult have clear jobs.

• Parent/caregiver job: decide when and where meals/snacks happen, and what foods are offered.
• Child’s job: decide if they will eat and how much of the foods offered.

Many parents find it helpful to always include at least one food their child is likely to eat. For example:

Parent: “Lunch is at 12:30 at the kitchen table. We’re having grilled cheese and veggie sticks. I know my child loves grilled cheese.”
Child: “I’m hungry and want to eat. I’ll have half my grilled cheese and one carrot stick.”

“Normal” picky eating vs. when to get help

A typical eater may:

• Randomly refuse a favourite food
• Eat only a few bites at some meals and ask for thirds at others
• Hesitate to try new foods
• Avoid vegetables
• Eat just one food at a meal

It helps to remember that children’s nutrition balances out over several days. A few lower-intake days are not usually a problem.

Picky eating needs attention when it affects wellbeing—for example, missing out on social events, very negative responses to eating (crying, screaming, fear), or diagnosed nutrition deficiencies.

FAQ

Is my toddler’s picky eating normal?
Often yes—especially between about 15 months and four years. Look at intake over several days rather than one meal.

What if my child refuses dinner but wants a snack later?
Use the division of responsibility: you choose the schedule and offer balanced options at set times. Avoid short-order cooking between meals.

How much should my child eat?
Children are generally good at noticing hunger and fullness. Offer a variety of foods and let them decide how much.

When should I seek help?
If eating is causing distress, social withdrawal, growth concerns, or diagnosed deficiencies, book with a dietitian.

Do you offer virtual appointments?
Yes—virtual consults are available across Saskatchewan, along with in-person visits in Warman.

How a dietitian can support your family

If you’re noticing early signs of picky eating, a dietitian can answer questions and create a practical plan that fits your routine. If your healthcare team has concerns about growth, a dietitian is an important part of care—helping ensure your child gets the nutrients and energy needed to keep growing well.

Care is available in-person with Jessica Braun in Warman, as well as virtually across Saskatchewan. Have questions first? You can always Contact Us and we are happy to assist you; or you can request a consult call at no cost to see if Jessica is the right fit for you.

This article is for general information only and does not replace individual medical advice.